


I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

by cjoycoolio



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: Jogan - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1315972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjoycoolio/pseuds/cjoycoolio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jogan song fic. Song: I Hate You, Don't Leave Me by Demi Levato.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

**_I hate you, don't leave me_ **

**_I feel like I can't breathe_ **

**_Just hold me....._ **

_  
_The steady beeping on the heart monitor resonates that the brunette is still breathing. Julian has been unconscious in the hospital bed for a month now and Logan has never once left his side.

"Come on Lo. You should get some rest. I'll watch him for now." Derek tries to reason with the blonde.

Logan squeezes the brunette's hand tightly, kisses his forehead gently and whispers. "I'll be back soon" before leaving the room.

**_Don't touch me_ **

"Who the hell are you. Get away from me". The blonde was astonished and let go of the brunette's hand immediately.

"I uh.." he hesitated to say.

"I don't even know who you are! Get the hell away from me! Why I am here? What the hell happened to me?" The brunette yelled frantically, trying his best to get out of his bed.

"Julian calm down. You were in a coma for the past month. You're at a hospital"

**_And I want you to love me_ **

**_But I need you to trust me_ **

**_Stay with me...._ **

Logan attended the brunette's every need ever since he was discharged from the hospital. Julian has no recollection the events that occurred ever since he met Logan but he's trying to remember. Julian is sitting on his bed staring at the pictures that Derek and Logan gave to him of their life together at Dalton. He sighs. "I just can't remember anything. Everything is just a blur" Julian states as he hands Logan back the picture.

"I understand. Its going to be hard but I'll always be there Jules. No matter what I'll help you regain your memory."

Julian smiles softly at the blonde. "For some reason I like that you call me Jules. And Thanks Logan. That means a lot."

Logan smiles softly back. "Anything for you Jules"

**_Set me free_ **

" I think I have to do this alone Logan. I'm sorry" The brunette states before walking towards the door.

The blonde grabs onto the brunette's arm. "I said that I'll help you no matter what Jules. Just please let me."

Julian pulls his arm away from the blonde's grasp. "I'm sorry Logan. I have to figure out this whole thing on my own."

**_But I can’t back down_ **

**_No, I can’t deny_ **

**_That I’m staying now_ **

**_‘Cause I can’t decide_ **

**_Confused and scared_ **

**_I am terrified of you_ **

_  
_"I don't know what to do Derek. I can't fucking remember a thing. Nothing is coming back and it's just causing me stress. And Logan is annoyingly always there. He won't leave me alone and its not helping me at all. What should I do?"  Julian states as he paces back and forth in Derek's room.

Derek was seated on his bed staring as Julian ranted. "Look Jules. Logan is just trying to help. You know that. If you need space just tell him. He'll understand."

Julian stops and stares out the window at the rain pouring down on the sidewalk. "That's what irritates me" he thinks to himself.

**_I admit I’m in and out of my head_ **

**_Don’t listen to a single word I’ve said_ **

**_Just hear me out before you run away_ **

**_‘Cause I can’t take this pain_ **

**_  
_**"First you want to do this alone. Now you're asking for my help. Okay I admit it Jules. You're driving me nuts right now. What the hell do you want from me?" Logan yells in an irritated tone.

The brunette steps back away from the angry blonde, a scared expression on his face. "I..I.. I don't know... I..just... I need to do this alone..but I don't want you to leave me"

 Logan stares at the brunette in disbelief.  He sighs briefly before rubbing his face with his hand and staring back at the brunette. "Okay"

_**I hate you, don’t leave me** _

_**‘Cause I love when you kiss me** _

_**I’m in pieces, you complete me** _

 

 It's been two months since Julian has been discharged and very little progress has been made on his memory. He has little snippets of his memory back but nothing really that he can make sense of. Over the course of those two months Julian has grown attached to Logan. He doesn't really know why but he finds comfort in the blonde. Just having him by his side makes him feel like the pieces of his memory that is missing doesn't really matter. They can be replaced by the new ones he makes with Logan. But still that isn't enough for him. He wants to know his past.

 

_**I’m addicted to the madness** _

_**I’m a ~~daughter~~  of the sadness** _

_**I’ve been here too many times before** _

_**Been abandoned and I’m scared now** _

_**I can’t handle another fall out** _

_**I’m fragile, just washed upon the shore** _

**_They forget me, don’t see me_ **

**_When they love me, they leave me_ **

Julian sits in his room waiting for Logan to get back from Warbler practice so they can eat dinner together. He just finished the last line of the book he was reading and walks to the shelf to put it away. As he tries to put the book back where he found it, a CD falls out. He puts the book away and picks up the CD. The words "Beautiful" is written on it. He examines the handwriting before opening the case and putting it in his laptop. The second he puts it in he hears his own voice. And that is when flashes of memories pour into his head. All the times Logan yelled at him. All the times Logan smiled at him. All the times Logan ignored him. Every moment he ever had with the blonde from the day he met him to the day he was forced to say he loved him. The brunette falls on the bed in tears and anguish. He couldn't take all the emotions of remembering the blonde. The blonde he knew then and the blonde he knew now are totally different people and it confuses him so much.  He just wants to clear his mind and take time figuring out what to do now but then he hears a knock on the door.  

"Jules. Come out already. I'm back. Let's eat"

**_I admit I’m in and out of my head_ **

**_Don’t listen to a single word I’ve said_ **

**_Just hear me out before you run away_ **

**_‘Cause I can’t take this pain_ **

**_No, I can’t take this pain_ **

"Jules come out already I'm hu-..what's wrong? What happened Jules?" The blonde says with worry as he opens the door to the brunette's room to see him sobbing in his bed. The song still playing on his laptop. "Is that you singing?" Logan asks as he slowly walks into the room. The brunette stares at Logan with anguish written on his face, tears still freely falling. "

It's about you Lo" Julian states rather bluntly before going to the laptop and pausing the song. Logan stops at his place staring rather shock at Julian's words.  For one Julian has never called him "Lo" since before Hell Night and two because how the hell does he remember it was sung for him. Julian rubs his tears away with his sleeve. "It was you. You were the one that always caused me pain.  You never once looked at me. Now that I was fucking forced to tell you my feelings you suddenly are always there by my side? Why Logan? Why are you doing this to me?! Why now? Do you just fucking pity me? Is that why? Do you feel like you need to redeem yourself by now being nice to me?! I thought at first you were just trying to help me but now...." He scoffed. " after I remember what happened...it all makes sense. You're here because you fucking feel bad for me. You don't really give a single fuck about me do you?  Well fuck you Lo. I'm done. I fucking hate you!!" Julian screams at the blonde, tears flowing harshly down his face. The pain he feels is breaking his heart. 

Logan wraps his arms around the brunette, caressing his head into his shoulder, letting him sob freely. "I know you might think that I don't care about you Julian but that's not true at all. No matter what.  I'll always be there for you. What happen in the past is in the past. I'm sorry for what I did but I'm not here because I'm sorry. I'm here because I truly do care for you Jules. I just never realized it before. You were always there for me Jules and I can't thank you enough for that. So please..believe me.. Jules. I really do love you".

_**I hate you, don’t leave me** _

_**I hate you, please love me** _

_**  
**_Julian stares up at the blonde, his eyes filled with pain and anger. He wants to tear away and yell at him to leave him alone but he can't. The way the blonde gazes down at him makes him freeze in place and his hearts starts to beat rapidly in his chest. He lays his forehead against the blonde's chest. "I can't take this pain" he whispers. Logan pulls out of the embrace and lifts the brunette's head so that they're again staring at each other. He brushes the tears away from the brunette's eyes. He then leans down until his lips meet with the soft ones that belongs to the brunette. Julian instantly wraps his arms around the blonde and pulls him deeper into the kiss. Logan wraps his arms tightly around Julian's waist. The passion in this one kiss was powerful. Everything they felt for each other  was poured into it, leaving them completely vulnerable but also completely free. They had each other and that's all that matters now.

"I love you Lo"

 


End file.
